This was hands down the worst thing that I have ever seen...

I have to admit that I am an Apple Fanboy. I hate Windows and I vomited when I installed Vista on my Father in-law's laptop. But I have a gripe. They update TOO MUCH, TOO QUICKLY. My buddy Dave said that Steve Jobs calls the iPod a two year device. If that's true than I'm pissed off. And true enough there is a new iPod release at least every two years. I'm not getting an iPhone because I don't have the cash for the data and voice plan from AT&T and because in another year we will have another iPhone and the open handsets to run Google android. Of course as my wife points out, nobody is going to touch the simplicity or elegance of an Apple product. Look at the iPod. Nothing has even come close since it has been released. The last generation iPods still beat out all of the Zunes and Zen MP3 players. I'm still going to wait. Maybe I'll need the new HTC Touch to start live blogging if someone would like to start sponsoring my blog. Cause right now I am tethered to a real world job. Better than being tethered to a Second Life identity I guess.

Here's the problem.
Movie studios, TV studios, internet onlyentertainments sites, they all have one thing in common. They aren't TV. TV is big, in your face and fantastic. You get what you want and when you want it now that we have DVRs and DVDs. TV or media on the internet is slow and of poor quality. TV is still king.
Let's say that you download an episode of lost on iTunes. You're at your PC or Mac and you want to watch it. You pull it up on your screen and it has blurry edges, the sound may not match perfectly, and unless you have a 46 inch LCD screen, you're sitting in a chair about a foot from the screen. I watched an episode of the Office last night that I taped three months ago. I took off my socks, laid on my couch and was ensconced in the comfort that is Television. You CAN'T do that with the internet. Maybe if you are cutting edge, but Americans have Televisions and they love them.
I don't have an all inclusive solution, but I have an idea of where to start. Our Television broadcasts are wireless. Sure they get routed through cables to get to your house if you have cable TV, but everything else is done with satellites and lasers or something. Trust me, I'm a Broadcasting guy, I have a degree somewhere around here. The point is, is that web based video has to travel the slow way, through cables and phone lines and hubs and routers and occiloscopes, possibly even by goat in some places. The signal gets blocked up, bottlenecked, and it is always limited by the type of hardware and software required to decode it. We need a better delivery system. A standardized system. Lasers and satellites people!!
Producing high quality web based content is like building huge yachts in Kansas and not having the rivers to get them to the ocean. That's my take on it at least.

These are the worst gifts that you can give someone this Holiday season, unless you don't like the person in which case these are the best gifts that you could possibly give.

1.) Cat asshole













2.) Unicycle. The perfect way to say: "I hope that you ride this before you really have the basics down and then you fall, injuring yourself. Happy Kwanzaa"














3.) Hard Returns. You F**king try to import data into Worldship using data that looks like that!!







4.) an evening with Peter B. Orlik, CMU professor. That special someone will love a romantic dinner alone with this asshole as he tries to put GHB in their Vernors when they aren't looking.










That is all for now.

Check it out: HD Pron!!!

(via the Giz)

Yep, it's called the PAM, the PAM lifting vehicle to be precise. Another great way to propel yourself into your own early grave. Look at the safety-less rotors underneath, it looks like the worlds most dangerous lawnmower.
Thanks asshole, I needed a post for this weekend and this one fit the bill. May you rest in pieces.

(from Gizmodo)

-"What do you want me to do, pull a mitten out of my ass and send it to you over the phone?"
-S.M.

Picture coming soon.

Critical darlings Sigur Ros released their newest album this year. I had the dual pleasure of listening to and downloading the music from Amazon.com's new digital download service. Amazon's service is fast, smooth and incredibly simple, dropping tunes right into iTunes or Windows Media Player (if you're an asshole and use WMP) Besides the incredibly easy downloading the songs are DRM free and the albums are about a dollar cheaper than iTunes. Awesome, right?
On to my review of the new songs from Sigur Ros. Sigur Ros is from Iceland and they sing in a made up language called Dreamlandic. Cute. My review is just two words: Shit sandwich.
If you can get past the first track, where they apparently held a microphone up to a cat that they were alternately water-boarding and squeezing to make a sound that not only hurts the ears but literally burns your soul, if you can get past that, then the rest of the songs are like a male version of Enya, only shittier. Listen to it before you go to bed to insure that you'll have dreams where the Boston Philharmonic is comprised entirely of John Tesh clones who are hellbent on killing you and eating your genitals. Other than that it's a fine album.

Seriously Mom, these links are giving my computer viruses. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt here, maybe you are just innocently forwarding me links that co-workers (or Dad) has sent you, thinking that they are cute or funny. They are not. It's all dirty porn. If you really are sending it to me on purpose I'm going to have to start sending you my therapy bills.

Ray Park (Darth Maul) has been cast in the new live action G.I. Joe movie. As FUCKING SNAKE EYES.

This may not mean much to some, but to me, it means everything. I have been eagerly awaiting this movie since I was SEVEN YEARS OLD. And Snake Eyes is my favorite mute Ninja. Ray Park is the best stunt/perfomer working today and this role needed him. I was actually hoping that they would cast him as Snake Eyes in the film since I heard that it was being made. So they read my mind and finally got some casting that made sense in a comic movie. (Jessica Alba as Susan Richards? Really?) Now cast Jet Li as Storm Shadow. Do it. DO IT NOW!!
(Slashfilm)

I've got nothing but respect for the guy in this photo.
1.) He looks like Jaws from James Bond

2.) He's probably nailing that chick
3.) He filled those pants using his own urine

(from Gizmodo via Boing Boing)

Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos has been pumping up the sites MP3 store with DRM free music. That's right, put it on your iPod, iPhone, Zune or your Motorola rkr if you are one of the three people who own one. And I was just bashing Mr. Bezos for the e-book reader the Kindle. Mr. Steve Jobs of Apple, Inc. is CHARGING for non DRM music...so cheaper 80 cent downloads with no protective code or more expensive iTunes crap. I'll let you make the call.

Everyone (except you probably) has been expecting Google, who owns Blogger btw, to release some sort of 'Googlephone'. Besides sounding funny, it would have been a competitor to the iphone...or so everyone thought. False. Google instead announced Android
which although cool sounding, is not a phone or a robot companion. It's a platform to load onto an existing handset. and it looks freaking awesome. You can tinker with the code and build your own interfaces or use the defaults which look gorgeous. I still do not understand it at all. I'm waiting for the press release that gives me some info on what I should buy and then I'll go buy it...or someone could send me one and I'll give it a favorable review.