What are you lookin' at?
Is it my pants? What's wrong with my pants, is there a stain, its not because they're too short is it. Oh God, I'm going home to change. They don't match my shirt do they?
What the hell are you looking at!? It sure the hell isn't my pants, my hair? What's wrong with my hair. is it sticking up over here? There, how's that? Can I borrow you comb?
Jesus Freaking Christ what in God's name are you looking at!? You've been standing there for ten minutes just looking at me!! Fine, I'm going to get some coffee. Go to hell.

I have a whole list of reasons why I hate you. I thought that I'd write them down.

1. Your hands smell
2. You part your hair to the wrong side. It is the wrong side,trust me
3. You are always whining and trying to be the center of attention
4. You never listen to me, all I want is for you to listen!
5. Your pants
6. The time you said that you'd water my plants while I was on vacation and I came home and my cat was dead and you had stolen all of my plants and sold my bed. I think that was you.

7. Thanks for all of that V.D.
8. Gingavitis
9. Those weren't real Mexican Jumping Beans and you know it!
10. Nike doesn't make Cheese, I checked. You know exactly what I'm talking about!!

Happy St. Patrick's Day you drunk bastards! Who exactly was St. Patrick?
Dear Dr. Mobey,
Who was St. Patrick, and why do we drink green beer on his day?

Great question, what the hell do you think this is, How Stuff Works.com?!! St. Patrick must have been some Irish monk/priest/pub owner who riled up enough support to get everyone to drink on one day of the year more than they already drank normally. This must have been quite a task in Ireland. The air in Ireland is legally impaired. So St. Patrick gets everybody to drink and then, being an ego-maniac (one parishinor remembers the time when St. Patty claimed that every sheep in town was coming on to him when everyone knew perfectly well it was the other way round) Being an ego-maniac, he made everybody drink Green Beer, his favorite color, so when they puked green the next morning they would all remember that it was St. Patrick that got them drunk. Amen

Just because I have Bionic Arms doesn't mean that you can shoot at me. In fact, my Bionic Arms actually make it harder for me to avoid bullets. I'm not a superhero, I am a walking medical miracle, I'm lucky to be alive. And the fact that I can lift a schoolbus above my head with one Bionic Arm in no way validates your decision to shoot at me. True, if I caught you after you had run out of ammunition I could crush you until you turned into hamburger. Please understand, my Bionic Arms do not enable me to run faster or fly in order to evade danger.
I can open a can of tuna with the nail of my index finger.
In conclusion, don't shoot at me, I can't stop bullets unless you fire them directly at my Bionic Arms. Please don't take this as an invitation to shoot at my Bionic Arms as you would most likely miss and I would be forced to undergo surgery to some other part of my body and have more bionics installed.

F'n stupid. And now Bush is signing an agreement with India over Nuclear weapons and power. India who a few years back was on the brink of Nuclear war with our friends the Pakastani's who happen to all hate us and worship Osama Bin-laden. So we ignore the fact that niether country will sign the Nuclear Non-proliferation agreement, but we sanction Iran where they are still TEN YEARS away from any sort of nuclear weapon. Iran, the most moderate of the countries that hate us. None of them recognize Israel, including Pakistan and Dubai. India recognizes Israel from somewhere, but can't remember where they've seen it before, maybe when they were at that mixer of Eastern Countries and India had a little too much to drink and felt up Jerusalem.

So we have a flustered and ineffectual, or worse, blundering administration with a President who has a %34 approval rating. I have a fucking %34 approval rating with the mice in my house that I KILL on a weekly basis. They have accepted it as fact and until I'm voted out of the house I'll know that at least %34 of the mice still aprove of me killing the hell out of them.

Well it is the second day of Lent on the Christian calendar, the Gregorian Calendar. Wait a minute, is Lent a day or a period of time, like 'Hey today is fuckin' LENT, let's go crazy, get some vegitarian!!' or is it the name for the period of time when you deprive yourself of important dietary resources, like Coke and Filet Mignon? I have no clue, I'm Buddhist. You can all go straight to Nirvana for all I care. Suckers.

Why does it take 900 minutes for two McDonald's employees to enter a coupon code? I'd like to re-direct your Honor, why the hell does it take TWO EMPLOYEES to enter anything!? Besides a gym for once. They are ALL fat. Not, "Oh, she has such a cute face, she's just a little big boned." No, these heifers could be processed into 2,454 quarter pounders, that's weight after cooking folks. And now I'm fat too cause I stopped for McDonald's before work... and we had it for dinner last night.


What a society we live in, temptation on every corner, fat, sugar, meth, turpentine, Reality TV. And Reality TV has not been living up to its name lately. Check out E's #1 Single with former one hit wonder Lisa Loeb OK, she is frikkin' hot and she stripped to a thong for an episode, but it does not qualify as "reality". The lines are all fed and rehearsed (BTW she is not a good actress) the situations are all hackneyed and stale and the guys that she dates...well, they're no Duncan Sheik, let me tell you. That's all for now, I'm sure something else will work me up later, I'm just riding a carbohydrate and fat high right now.